Watching myself react and apologize; taking 1 step forward and 2 steps back; feeling utterly diminished and completely whole simultaneously, I've learned about gratitude. In the tumult of "yes" and "no," it seems that gratitude is the ultimate interior liberation. Although it's been a circuitous route.
The responsibilities and travel for my new gig as the Global Yoga Trainer for adidas are extensive, and several days were spent in collaboration with fellow adidas Trainer, Violet Zaki [super smart Global Combat Training goddess], to create a manual that will be used by fitness and yoga instructors worldwide, both philosophically and physically. We've also recorded a DVD that those teachers will use to refine their practice and experience of this tradition. Painstakingly combing through scripts, edits, dozens of hours later we have something useful and hopefully inspiring. And already onto the next DVD script.
Manageably but definitely overwhelmed, I requested time with Hugo Cory. Because this adidas job requires connection to many people, he told me, go back to the books, study the symbolism of the teachings, contemplate, go inward. Sure enough, during late nights combing through notes and readings from the past 10 years, I'm finding previously overlooked treasures buried in the pages that inform anew, now. As a result, my commitments to my son, my own practice, and to the traditions of Anusara yoga and Rajanaka yoga have unbelievably and unmistakably deepened.
Today at Virayoga I taught the Loops of Anusara [after recording a yogaglo class this past weekend on the same topic]. I began the class with the two main reasons for practicing this tradition, and how each relates to both the specificity and the expansiveness of the Loops.
Shiva - Cit - Consciousness:
we practice to recognize, acknowledge and stay close to ourselves.
Shakti - Ananda - Bliss:
we practice to experience the delight, the beauty, the art of our bodies, hearts, lives.
For years I've taught Anusara yoga, always finding ways to express, explore and unearth the richness and relevance of these two aspects of our practice, but never explicitly felt comfortable saying the words, even though I felt their meaning and the prosperity in my body when I set my attention on them. Somehow, this job of representing an enormous fitness conglomerate has brought me so much closer to the space of my heart, and yours, and every student and teacher with whom I'll have the honor of sharing what I've come to understand. And here in my heart I've found nothing but gratitude.
So thank you. Thank you to every single soul who's come to my class with any modicum of receptivity. Thank you John Friend for your unflinching encouragement to take this job and for editing line by line every single page of our manual. Thank you Douglas Brooks for your teachings which have literally and figuratively held me through the most harrowing - and the most exalted - moments of the past 10 years. Thank you Hugo Cory for finding the exact instruction to carry me to the next opening time after time.
What's most pertinent is that this heightened experience of gratitude is helping me reposition myself to receive when I think I must move. The promise of the Tantra is to taste the sacred in this life, now.
Onward and upward.